Is Being Businesslike Being Too Serious?
I’m a hyper laid-back kind of person. I think seriously, but don’t act seriously if that makes any sense. I have never been the type to change the way I talk around certain people (well maybe I cuss less), but I try to remain true to myself whlie also getting the job done. As 9rules grows and more responsibility and expectations are placed upon the company I find that more and more people are hanging onto my every word and action looking for a mistake or a slipup. While I don’t mind this because it usually means we are getting attention a lot of people are starving for, I fear that it might change the way I approach things.
For example, when I first started blogging I was fairly carefree about what I wrote about and who I went after simply because there were no expectations placed upon me. However, as the readership of this site increased I found that I was placing greater expectations on myself with regards to what I wrote about and who I chose to critique and compliment. People are concerned that ads change the way people write when I think the biggest influence on a blogger is traffic and audience.
I think though that I am making stuff up in my head because every client I encounter or every member I talk to all seem to be fairly laidback as well and it’s easy to hold a conversation with them. Now the VCs were a different type of story only because they can be very stoic and just take things too seriously.
I guess I am wondering do you ever feel there is a situation that you need to change the person you are to make someone else happy (client, partner, advertiser, VC)? Or do you view life simply as if they can’t handle me, they aren’t the type of person I wish to deal with?
Self-censorship is one of the most important skills a person can learn. Just because you have something to say doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea to say it.
My suggestion for people who just want to express every little thing that comes across their minds, regardless of how appropriate it is, is to either a) say it in a soundproof area, or b) set up an anonymous account on Blogger and just let loose there.
By Mike D. on January 24, 2006 10:12 pm
In real life, as in business, nobody really expects you to change who you are. (Is it really possible anyway – to change who you are?) They do, however, expect you to adapt to the role – and abide by the proper behavior for that role – you’ve been assigned or that you’ve marketed yourself as being.
For instance, you have given yourself the public title of CEO. There’s a model of behavior that’s generally associated with that title of leadership, that as your little venture here continues to grow and be recognized that folks are going to start expecting of you.
Adapt.Mature.Grow
By Mark on January 24, 2006 10:36 pm
Nobody expects you to change who you are? Ever been in a relationship? ;-)
By Devin Reams on January 25, 2006 2:03 am
Mike: Online it’s easy to watch what you say and do. However, remember in San Francisco? Haha, that wasn’t 2 CEOs acting like 2 CEOs…hey! don’t get any wild ideas people. We were just chilling and enjoying the atmosphere of the places we were “sight seeing”.
Mark: Another entry I have in mind is asking the question of whether or not when you become the face of your company do you try to adapt the company brand to your person or do you adapt your person the company brand. Whether good or bad 9rules is considered Scrivs’ company like 37signals is Fried’s and Apple’s is Jobs. Not every company has that CEO that is the face and in not all cases is that a good thing.
Devin: Have you ever been in a real relationship? Every girl wants you to keep all the good and get rid of the bad. The whole package thing is rarely excepted :-)
By Scrivs on January 25, 2006 2:50 am
WOW!
Mike D. said:
_Self-censorship is one of the most important skills a person can learn. Just because you have something to say doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea to say it._
And I’m *still* reeling. That is an incredibly destructive attitude to have.
What I’m about to say isn’t “design” related, but I’m not about self-censorship, either.
Mike, have you read 1984? Have you looked around lately? See what’s going on? Yes, the parallels are striking.
Go ahead and censor yourself all you want, I’ll gladly speak for both of us.
Back on topic.
_I guess I am wondering do you ever feel there is a situation that you need to change the person you are to make someone else happy (client, partner, advertiser, VC)?_
No. Never. Be yourself. If you’re a loud, obnoxious jerk, be exactly that way in front of your potential VC. Don’t lie about who you are.
If you feel morally obligated to act in a manner differently than your employer has asked, tell him. If he gives you an ultimatum, take it.
If someone says something you believe to be dishonest, call them on it.
The idea of self-censorship raises all possible red flags, and I can’t let a sentiment like that go unchallenged.
By Rabbit on January 25, 2006 3:33 am
It depends what is more important to you: how you look or who you are. And no matter what role one may adopt things will be sorted out.
“Why do business people speak like idiots” book comes to mind, too.
By Rimantas on January 25, 2006 6:18 am
Way to overinterpret, Rabbit.
I seriously doubt Mike’s point was to shut up altogether. Since you clearly take issue with the term “(self-)censorship,” let’s try replacing it with impulse control, picking your battles, or maybe even, “Do some research before opening your mouth.” I’ll also put forward that wanting to say something(which is what I see Mike addressing) isn’t the same as having something to say, but that’s a matter of interpretation. A deeper purpose of celf-censorship is consideration rather than the assumptive reasoning or just plain lashing out that’s endemic to blogging in general. If you want to say something, go ahead, but count to ten and think about it before you start typing.
A possible example: SvN could have asked why a bank’s interface made payment dateswork a certain way. Instead, the post comes across as more, “This is how I want it, now make it so.” Turns out there’s a perfectly valid business reason behind it, not to mention actual research and testing. At worst this is just lack of research, seeing as 37S are kind of in the interface business; at best, it should’ve at least been a question.
As to the original question, I always found you(Scrivs) entertaining for the simple fact of actually being willing to call bullshit. As a general rule, what you say tends to evidence some thought, correct or no, and where a comment is pure opinion or has caveats, you at least acknowledge the fact. So, while I don’t think the act can necessarily be held against you, maybe a change in tone is called for, though I personally think that’s already happened.
By Su on January 25, 2006 6:28 am
Scrivs, there is a difference between acting like someone you’re not and behaving in a socially appropriate manner. Every social situation has a context that is specific to the situation.
What you’ve not really defined here is what you mean by “laid-back.” You use the term as if everyone knows exactly what you mean, and that’s just not so. Laid-back can mean behaving calmly and being easy-going – or – it can mean behaving inappropriately according to the context of the social setting.
For instance, around close friends it’s perfectly appropriate to answer a question with “yeah.” But in a business situation or around people who are not your close friends, “yeah” is childish and disrespectful; too laid-back. “Yes” is what’s appropriate in such situations (this is just a simple example to illustrate my point).
Now, this does not mean changing who you are, it means adapting appropriately to context. This is a fundamental social skill that everybody needs to grasp. There’s a difference between a child and a man. Having a facility for this sort of contextual adaptation is one of those differences. It’s not facade and it’s not pretense, it’s just good manners.
By Andy Rutledge on January 25, 2006 6:39 am
So if you cuss like a sailor in front of your friends, then you should cuss the same way in front of your mother?
I realize it is not CEO related, but it’s the same concept.
You don’t have to change WHO you are in order to change your demeanor.
Sometimes it’s fine to be your obnoxious self, but if you are in the prescence of someone you know will not appreciate an obnoxious jerk, have the courtesy to tone your behavior down and have some respect.
If we lived in a world where everyone spoke/acted out EVERYTHING they truly felt like doing, it would be a much scarier world than what we currently live in.
Don’t change who you are, but adapt your personality/attitude dependent on those who are around you.
Scrivs, how would your demeanor change if you were placed into 2 scenarios.
1. A meeting with 37 Signals and Jason Fried.
2. A meeting with the top Yahoo! Executives
I will assume that you could “let loose” a little more with the 37 signals crew then you would in front of the top Yahoo! executives.
By Bryan on January 25, 2006 9:11 am
I agree whole-heartedly Scrivs.. a certain level of change is expected.. as far as business is concerned, ‘a little too unprofessional’ was one ‘reason’ I was declined a job offer once.. I use reason loosely but, in some instances a company really will want you to act differently. If that’s the case I’m glad I didn’t get the job.
By Devin Reams on January 25, 2006 9:54 am
Okay, to all those who think its just okay to be a jerk if that’s your nature and then tell the world to deal with it… that’s not going to get you very far — unless you are extremely talented. And I mean Steve-Jobs-Talented. Not just I-Can-Design-Good-Talented.
Adaptation to your environment is extremely important in business. This does not mean that you change who you are, but it does mean that you change how you relate. There is an important difference here.
Our office attire at Firewheel is pretty much whatever the heck you want to wear. However, when I meet with clients I wear what is appropriate for the meeting, and this may vary largely from client to client. Some clients get jeans, t-shirt, and a ballcap, while other clients get the Hugo Boss suit and tie.
Being all things to all people does not mean that you’re changing who you are, rather it shows that you care about your relationship with those you come in contact with. You’re giving those people a place of importance, making them feel valued. And in the end, that’s pretty much what business is about… a relationship with people.
By Josh Williams on January 25, 2006 10:04 am
Damn, too many good responses to handle. I understand the sentiment of observiing the social situation and acting appropriately. I definitely didn’t mean act like a thug everywhere I go or to whoever I’m around. I also know that the more I act “professional” the more uptight I get and stressed and idiot sounding I become.
Of course my idea of professional is probably a definition made back in 1643 so I am overdoing it I think and only causing grief for myself.
By Scrivs on January 25, 2006 10:46 am
“Or do you view life simply as if they can’t handle me, they aren’t the type of person I wish to deal with?”
Pretty much. There are situations where what you want to say is uncalled for (for example, you shouldn’t talk about your last night out at the club in the middle of a meeting), but if someone has a deep-rooted issue with my personality then that person is probably someone I couldn’t work with.
It’s the same on the CEO level as it is on the grunt employee level. I’ve turned jobs down before because while I interviewed well, I couldn’t see myself fitting in well with the company’s corporate culture.
It’s like dating: if you have to unwillingly alter yourself to meet someone’s needs, you’re working too hard and that person is probably not the best for you.
By Vinnie Garcia on January 25, 2006 11:17 am
Vinnie: Do you take into account though that maybe your personality is the one hurting the business instead of thinking you just can’t work with these people?
By Scrivs on January 25, 2006 11:24 am
I think this really depends. If your demeanor is such that you’re hard to work with it could get you placed on the outside in some situations real quick. Or, in your situation, you could have good people walk because they can’t deal with you. I think you should be yourself, but at the same time have a care to fit in with those around you. That’s not only part of working, it’s part of life.
By Keith on January 25, 2006 11:27 am
“Vinnie: Do you take into account though that maybe your personality is the one hurting the business instead of thinking you just can’t work with these people?”
That’s always a possibility, but that answer also depends on the business you’re in and your personality type. For example, if flexible isn’t part of your personality you’re not going to do well with any service-based business where clients want you to bend over backwards for them. With personality traits running that deep though, the question should probably be “Am I in the right business?” rather than “How should I change to get more business?”.
Some personality traits are easy and even desirable for one to fix and that’s fine. If the trait is an integral part of who you are though you should be working in an industry where those deep traits are desirable.
By Vinnie Garcia on January 25, 2006 11:31 am
I think it’s a matter of recognizing the possible repercussions of what you write and how it might affect you tomorrow, three months or a year from now keeping in mind how you want to be perceived by those that read your words.
I’ve written about many controversial topics. I’m always laid back online and I’ve definitely written my share of personal things, but I’ve always managed to gain the respect of my readers.
It’s hard to get the door open if there is no respect. If you feel those you interact with respect you, then you’re doing good. :)
To answer your question: I will never change who I am (meaning sacrifice my morals or ethics) but there are times when a compromise needs to be made.
By Tyme on January 25, 2006 11:32 am
The only reference I use is Chapplle’s show.
When keeping it real goes wrong.
Sometimes you have to hold back just a tiny little bit…but for the most part screw it. If you can’t accept what or who I am then I do not want anything to do with you to begin with. Just keep it real…but not too real.
Keep it reality TV show real.
By Ryan Latham on January 25, 2006 12:24 pm
Man, didn’t realize there were so many ‘rebels’ in the audience.
By Scrivs on January 25, 2006 1:31 pm
“Man, didn’t realize there were so many ‘rebels’ in the audience.”
You work in a field where new concepts are constantly embraced and you publish in a medium (blogging) that historically has favored the little guy over established corporate interests. I don’t think it’s that far-fetched.
By Vinnie Garcia on January 25, 2006 3:13 pm
Oh no! The “C” word!
If you say self-control instead of censorship, it makes more sense. It’s not that you limit yourself, it’s that you exercise discretion when speaking and doing.
Self expression is important, but our society puts emphasis on it to a fault. There is a time and a place for all; the internet(s) make it all too easy to make that time now and that place global.
And the Chapelle’s show reference is solid. Go watch.
By Bradley on January 25, 2006 5:28 pm
Hi,
I was having exactly the same thoughts, after a while when I rambled about certain political or social problems I consider important. How far can one go without pissing into someone else pool when you usually speak the way you think and think the way you speak ?
By Kamil on February 7, 2006 9:27 am
I am constantly changing my behavior and personality to fit in with so-called professionalism in my business school. College is retarded like that. Most seem to think that by giving students some sort of professional formula to follow their subsequent success is guaranteed. This is how your write an email. If you fail to follow this exact format, you will fail in the business world. Probably a little exaggerated, but you get my point.
By donnie on February 9, 2006 7:04 pm