June 29, 2004 | View Comments (20) | Category: Our Thoughts
Summary: As professionals do we always have to watch what we say?
Many times in the past I have received emails from numerous readers telling me that I should change my style a bit (no worries, nothing has changed). To them I was being too honest and they felt that this could effect my career. You could be a good designer, but if you don't think you are the best and admit it then maybe you lose some clients. If you express how you really feel in certain situations you might turn some people away.
Over at Business Logs I often talk about being honest and how it helps to build a bond between yourself and your audience. I don't think anyone would argue this point, but if you are a freelancer should you have to control how much honesty you put forth?
The people I respect the most in life have always been the ones that don't hold back any punches. I am not talking about the people who love to attack others through their blogs, but ones that can give their honest opinions and they do so to help you out. Or the people who don't hide behind their fake words and let you know how they really are. I found a great example of this the other day.
More than likely if you have read a book on HTML or CSS Molly had a part in it. She has written a crazy amount of books and articles and deserves all the respect the community gives her. For money Molly teaches and consults so their is a lot of professionalism to be shown.
First read 100 Facts about Molly and come back to this entry.
After reading it I felt so much more closer to Molly. Did it change the way I looked at her professionally? No, but I did see her differently as a person. I gained a new respect about her because I felt she held nothing back. However, I wonder how many people get turned off from this openness? How many people were looking into her services and then decided to go with someone else because they read the 100 Facts page?
I don't think everyone should go around telling their lifestyles or openly admitting their faults, but I am wondering about those people who do does it hurt them professionally? It's one thing to work fulltime and do some freelancing on the side and another to have freelancing as your fulltime gig with your blog as the company site. When does honesty about yourself payoff and when does it hurt your business?
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I would certainly choose a company who's honest and has "minor flaws" over a soulless company (like Microsoft).
I do believe in honesty to an extent, like Ryan says. I don't think expressing your racist beliefs or constantly talking about drugs will help you much, because those topics are really personal.
For an example of how honest you can be, go to Dunstan's blog, he tells you all sorts of things about his life, but it doesn't hurt his career.
I'm very open minded and love a good debate, i'll tell someone what I think whether they're a web design guru, a famous actor or just your average joe. I try not to insult people, as that isn't the way to go, but there are some out there that just can't handle honestly.
If I lost a client because of my honesty, would I really care? No, not at all, because that isn't the type of client I want.
Robert Lofthouse (http://www.ghxdesign.com)
oops, sorry. That above link should be:
Robert Lofthouse (http://www.ghxdesign.com)
Just like anyone, Molly has (I believe) kept it real to the extent she feels safe in doing so.
She consults in the IT field and is an accomplished author. It could be assumed she is pretty well self reliant - so sure, she is safe with her list. The path she chose professionally and her accomplishments allows for and arguablly even promotes the "quirkiness" factor.
Most folks try to "edit" themselves when presented in a new situation or when trying to fit into an environment. Does that mean that professionalism is being chosen over realism? Absolutely not. We are multi-faceted emotional creatures.
For every 100 things someone tells you about themselves, there is 1000 more they haven't.
They have just chosen the list which is regarded as safe and "real" for the profession they have chosen.
Mark (http://www.lightpierce.com/ltshdw)
Good points Mark and yes Ryan I do understand there is a limit. I suppose you should as far as whatever helps to show your personality without hurting your image.
Scrivs (http://businesslogs.com)
"Keeping it real..."
Reminds me of a bit done on the Chappelle Show. Honestly, I think designers should choose their words carefully and try to be as flexible as possible. When I was alot younger at a job, not IT, I was a loose cannon, and suffered from it dearly.
What you say at the job, to clients does have an effect on how people see you and if/why people want to work with you as a designer.
PS Scrivs, I have been visiting this site a while and you have always, in my opinion, had a good degree of professionalism. You may be being honest, which is always a good quality but you're not 'keeping it real' in the street sense.
http://www.comedycentral.com/tv_shows/chappellesshow/showclips.jhtml
Almustafa El-Said
Haha, yes well keeping it real like Chappelle is something totally different. Keeping it that real has nothing to do with my professional life and therefore I could see how that would hurt both me and our company.
I guess the "realness" should be as real as you see it helps you professionally and is somewhat relevant.
Scrivs (http://businesslogs.com)
I'm not going to go out of my way to be either overly professional or personal on my site or with my clients. Mark makes a good point about the 'comfort factor". Some people are simply more comfortable revealing things about themselves that others are not. And sometimes it is just a matter of going for the shock-value, especially as that can sometimes be the nature of gaining attention in the blogosphere.
Personally, I like it when people reveal a lot about themselves, it helps me determine beforehand who to avoid at SXSW or similar events. For example, that Molly knows two people who have killed a person in cold blood tells me right away that I would probably not want to meet this woman or her friends.
I might still read her books, though.
I have found that honesty has helped my business. But it hasn't so much been personal honesty as professional honesty.
Telling my clients about my past indiscretions or my current sex life is irrelevent to my business and if things like that do attract clients, they probably are not the kind of clients I would want.
But being honest about the bumps with my previous projects or my professional philosophies is relevent to my business and will attract the kind of clients that I do want.
Eris (http://erisfree.com)
I find this a hard topic to discuss because I think companies (comprised of the people within it) do need to get more personal with their customers and yet obviously you don't want to dump your entire life's history on the table. People are obviously tired of marketing speak and want businesses to start talking to them in a normal voice. Actually if anything, a lot of times customers (aka those "people" again) when they talk to companies about problems with their products often relate it to a personal experience within their life. The problem is that a lot of companies support their products in a cookie cutter approach instead of looking at the personal needs of their customers. Sure guidelines need to be in place but only so that you can bend or extend them when necessary. I think the more companies start understanding the personal experiences of their customers and relating to them, the closer they will be to them and the more loyal those said customers will be to that customer. In marketing speak that means customer loyalty equals big bucks.
Personally I think the way Molly communicates is great and kind of reminds me of myself. While I don't like beating around the bush, usually telling people what I think of something flat out, I do try to pick my words so they aren't "biting". However, this always doesn't work if I see something blatantly stupid that I just say it straight out. Then again, I don't just leave it there. I always try to make people understand where I'm coming from and the logic behind what I say. I hate people who just say something sucks but don't explain why they think so.
Nollind Whachell
Oops, my apologies. I meant to say "the more loyal those said customers will be to that company".
Nollind Whachell
To be succesful you can't really have one without the other.
I don't want to work with someone who is 100% professional and by the book, but I also don't want to work with someone who clowns around and talks non-stop about their sex life.
Being a succesful blogger is much like being a "succesful human", you need to know when to joke and when to put that side of you away and be serious. There are some things in your life that you will never tell anyone, so blogging is no different.
It also depends on your type of blog. I see this blog as a "information based", dedicated to sharing resources and discussing the technicalities of web design etc. However, I see Dunstan's blog as more of a "travel log", which is only associated with his company because it's on the same "portal". He rarely talks about design, instead spending most of his time talking about weird things that happen in his life.
As others have mentioned, it also depends how open you are. Eric Meyer frequently discusses his adopted daughter and occasionally the death of his mother. It's the kind of thing I expect from Eric, but I wouldn't expect it here - mainly due to the type of blog it is.
If someone decides to not do business with me, based on one tiny thing that I revealed in a blog, then i'm glad that I never had the pleasure (or displeasure) of meeting them.
I'm gothic (I don't mean gothic as in nu-metaller, I mean gothic as in - siouxsie and the banshees, the cure, sisters of mercy etc) and I know a lot of business people that wouldn't want to do business with me because of that - it's their loss I guess.
Robert Lofthouse (http://www.ghxdesign.com)
I think Mark states it very well (#4)
The problem with the Internet is that nobody can tell for sure if you are being honest or not. There's no body language to reinforce the words. So you can be perfectly honest and some people will just not believe you. Many if not most people are naturally suspicious, so sometimes open honesty has the reverse effect - it increases the suspicion. So I think that a reputation for openness and honesty will take time to earn, maybe years.
I think secrecy, caution and self interest dominate communication on the net, and dominate professionalism. Disclosing some personal information now and then helps people get to know you better but unlike real life, they are unlikely to respond in a like manner. I think it is a good idea to always clarify the distinction between your professional and personal opinions, too.
Trying to establish a business based around open honest communication could take longer than you anticipate and I think you'll have to be very proactive and take whatever opportunities you can. But it's admirable that you are starting a business based on those values. As long as you keep to them, you will stay ahead of those businesses who try to adopt these values having already earned dubious reputations.
Peter (http://www.01010.org)
Peter -
In regards to your last (#12), I don't think secrecy, caution and self-interest really have that much to do with how much an "open book" one determines they need to be.
More on the point, it's how relevant is this information in regards to the context you're presenting it in?
It's as I stated in my previous. We all come to the table with a numerous "things" about us.
We choose which ones to make public based on the situation we're in.
Example: Our moms know much more about us than our best friends / Our best friends know much more "other" things about us than our moms do - or at least we hope so.
Regarding honesty and "feeling closer" to Molly...how? How do you know this is just not a bunch of hype?
Her list is open - yes
Honest? I think it would be hard to draw that conclusion unless you know her personally.
Mark (http://www.lightpierce.com/ltshdw)
I think as the Web brings people closer together all over the world and people tend to have more contact with the faces (be they online or in person) within a company, or the personal side of professionals (via blogs, etc.) "keeping it real" will become more important.
I think it's very possible (desirable) to try and do both. Become a "personable professional."
On the job I'm much more professional than I am outside of work and on my blog -- for example. However, as I get more confident in my skills (it's been along time) and can let my experience and know-how speak for me, I find myself "loosening up" at work and I feel this makes for a better work atmosphere.
As people we're not solely "our jobs." None of us. I think it's a very good thing (that will become more important) to show a bit of that personal side, while at the same time being professional -- especially in our communication.
As my old Creative Director Danimal (one of the most whacked out, yet amazingly professional people I've every met) used to say, "Communication needs to be free and open."
Sticking strictly to the professional doesn't leave a whole lot of room for "free and open."
Keith (http://www.7nights.com/asterisk/)
Mark - I think you're right. If I have understood you correctly, you mean that the relevance and clarity of what is presented is most important. Moreover, because honesty, secrecy, caution and self interest of others can never be accurately gauged, then relevance, clarity of expression and careful, appropriate choice of what to present become even more important. If I can express myself more clearly and exactly then there is less chance for misinterpretation.
Also, a strong reason for secrecy, caution and self-interest (and professionalism) may be that people are taking responsibility and full ownership of their words, and find that so-called openness and honesty are sometimes merely the expression of, for example, naive, vague or woolly thinking? So relevance and pointedness are much more crucial to getting the message across than trying to express honesty? Online, that is.
Peter (http://www.01010.org)
Peter -
err...yeh - that's exactly what I was trying to say...I think.
; )
Mark (http://www.lightpierce.com/ltshdw)
I don't remember where I read something that sounds like this:"If you want to be honest, write a novel, if you want to be hypocritical, write autobiography".
It's quite a good point, come to think of it.
I've tried a few years ago to be honest about my autobio, when the word 'blog' did not exist yet.
And guess what? Like Mark says (#4), I edited myself out (I like the expression Mark).
Then I got a divorce and posted a laconic note to my newsletter list: "My wife went away. I won't comment on this." -- and stopped posting for long months in a row. Editing myself out into nothingness, literally.
It changed deeply and durably what I would write on the web. After that I never wrote about what's really personal, because it involves people and writing about them and my interaction with them would mean baring those people in public, so to speak.
Now what's more interesting is when your blog turns out to be known by your professional environment, and people come to your site and you know that you don't want them to know everything about you.
My admiration goes to Lance Arthur for being consistent in that, and not hiding behind any nickname ('s t e f', for instance, is a pretty lame excuse for an oh-so ordinary name).
A point that's really important: there's a sense of real humanity in websites that go beyond the simple 'company sheen' that we see so often. That is, in part, why I read Whitespace (among others like Dunstan, Eric Meyer, Jeffrey Zeldman, etc), isn't it: for the sense of personality that comes out of it. It's important to hear you all discuss, rather than just blatantly say you're the best at this-or-that. If I had to choose a contractor, I'd go for a real person with doubts and open questions rather than for a mechanical company-like contractor. It shows open-mindedness, and it's vital in real-life work.
s t e f (http://www.nota-bene.org/)
I agree with the same. I feel it is hard to be both together..real and professional. The fact that being practical is so very difficult for people to understand that they pretend that they r real.
Eliteral (http://services.eliteral.com/)
This is a complex issue-- I'm not even convinced that who we are online is really the same person as our offline versions.
An initial impulse seems to be: honesty above all else. But it's simplistic to cast this as a matter of just honesty. We choose not to share many things with even our closest friends, much less the whole world. Discretion can be the better part of valor when you have students, clients, bosses, and family to think about.
If I really feel the need to share *completely* honestly about some issues I have dealt with-- depression, marriage/divorce, fatherhood, weight loss-- it either goes in my personal journal or on an anonymous site. But there is a whole lot that can be productively shared with others before I reach the line where I feel that is necessary.
Chris L (http://www.chrislott.org/)
I agree with the same. I feel it is hard to be both together..real and professional. The fact that being practical is so very difficult for people to understand that they pretend that they r real.
dave (http://www.kmailer.com)
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#1
I agree with about not holding back, to a point. In the end if you do not hold certain things back, you are defacing the value of yourself (as viewed by an employeer).
In reality we all have two sides to us; the real side, and the professional side. I am not going to tell allow a future employeer that I donkey punhed his daughter while we were high on PCP. But that is no longer being real compared to being proffesional. That is just protecting my ass from going to jail for multiple crimes.
By the way, that never happened. It wasn't PCP, it was crystal meth.
Ryan Latham (http://worldoneweb.com)